Merlin or What You Will
by simpsonfreak
Summary: When Gwen is washed ashore in a strange land she must dress as her drowned brother in order to secure a job in King Arthur's court. Things become complecated when she is given the job of wooing Arthur's love, the cruel Lady Morgana. Meanwhile: Gwaine, Merlin, Leon, Gaius and Morgause decide to play a prank on Uther. Merlin version of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Some people don't like Shakespeare… I am not one of those people , the 1996 film of twelfth night is my favourite film, I've been watching it much over the summer so I've decided to write this.**

Aboard a ship some years ago a brother and sister travel together. Everything was well until their ship was caught in a terrible storm, unlike any the world had ever seen before.

"Gwen! Hurry!"

"I'm trying!"

She was carrying their clothes chest, in hope that they could cling to it and ensure their safety, while trying to run through the crowd to where her brother was waiting. Elyan remembered the promise he made to his father on his death bed, to take care of his sister, always. There was a sudden lurch and several people staggered back or slipped on the wet floor. Gwen was pushed back by the crowd and lost her footing and fell into the ink black ocean.

"Gwen!"

He forgot everything and ran to his sister. He leapt into the water after her and gripped her hand but the current pulled them apart. Two siblings lost at sea, screaming each other's name as the ocean parted what nothing else could.

Many other people that saw trying to save the ship was fruitless where joining them in the stormy water. Gwen felt a strong arm around her and a calm voice telling her let go of the chest. She didn't let go, she was too afraid. She kept her eyes on Elyan as the figure guided her away, eventually he became nothing more than a speck in the distance and then even less than that. He could already have drowned for all she knew.

It they didn't reach land until morning, Gwen's cheeks where wet with rain, sea water and tears. She looked up at the man who had helped her to shore and saw it was the ship's captain, Percival. She opened the chest and held her brother's cloths close. She looked back at Percival.

"Maybe he managed to get the shore here too."

He looked down at her gravely.

"I only managed to save you through chance."

At those words she started to cry, she mourned the loss of her brother for some time. She knew she had to stop her tears, they needed to make their next move.

"Where are we?"

"Camelot my lady."

"Who rules here?"

"King Arthur."

She thought for a moment.

"I think my father spoke of him, but that was some time ago. Is he well?"

"As well as he's ever been. The last I heard he was pining for the lady Morgana."

"Does she not want to marry a king?"

"Her brother recently passed away and she won't meet any suitors, least of all the king."

Gwen nodded absentmindedly.

"I need to find a job, working will help me forget."

"I think the King is looking for a new manservant…"

She sighed, that wasn't any good. She looked down on her brothers clothes. Unless…

"That job will be fine."

"But that is a job for a man."

"Then I will dress in Elyan's cloths and you will present me as a boy to him."

Percival shook his head.

"I cannot permit myself to do that."

"What other choice do I have?"

**A/N: I might not continue this, it's hard to translate Shakespeare so that the characters aren't too OOC.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Ok… this was a lot more popular than I expected. For practical purposes in this version Sir Toby is Olivia's cousin instead of her uncle. If you don't know what twelfth night's about then it doesn't matter.**

"I don't know why she won't see any suitors. It's been months since her brother's death. I mean we're all gonna die eventually so don't spend it mourning."

"So we should all live more like you?"

"Exactly."

"If we all want to be thrown out if our homes you mean?"

"What?"

Sir Gwaine looked up at the fair haired maid.

"Morgana is thinking of throwing you out. It's your drinking. It'll be your undoing."

"It already is my undoing and I don't care."

Morgause sighed and shook her head.

"And about the knight you brought here to be her suitor."

"Sir Leon?"

"Yes him, he's s fool. What made you think he would see her?"

"He's tall enough isn't he?"

She squinted as though that would help her understand.

"What are you talking about?"

Gwaine looked into his goblet then poured some of the liquid down his throat.

"I have no idea. Anyway what's wrong with him?"

"What isn't?"

"Nothing, he can speak French, German and Spanish. All perfectly."

The maid sighed and turned away.

"I'll believe that when I see it. So why him then?"

"He earns three thousand ducats a year."

She sighed as she nearly always during her conversations with Sir Gwaine.

"I should have known, with you it's always either money or drink."

The knight in question stumbled through the door.

"Sir Gwaine!"

"Sir Leon!"

They greeted each other while Morgause watched. Eventually Gwaine turned to face the maid again.

"This is my cousin's chamber maid."

Sir Leon looked at her and smiled gormlessly.

"Hello."

She sighed and greeted him back. After some time Gwaine prompted him by saying. "Accost Sir Leon."

"Oh!"

The foolish knight smiled as though he had just found the answer to the meaning of life.

"Mistress Accost!"

She was unimpressed with this last statement. "My name's Morgause."

He nodded enthusiastically. "Mistress _Morgause_ Accost."

"No, no."

Gwaine pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

"Accost means to… front her, board her, woo her."

"Oh…"

Gwaine grinned and lead him out of the room.

"It doesn't matter. I think her surname might be Accost anyway."

When they were in one of the rooms of the great castle Leon turned to his supposed friend.

"I shall leave tomorrow."

"Pourquoi?"

"Umm…"

Gwaine took a deep breath in, then remembered the money and smiled.

"It means 'why?'."

"Morgana won't see me, and how am I supposed to compete with the king?"

"She'll have none of the king."

"She'll have none of me either."

Gwaine flicked his head to one side to move his hair from his face.

"True, but she has sworn not to see him for seven years, he's not in with a chance. She has said nothing like that to you my friend."

Leon looked up and considered this logic, if you listened hard enough you could hear the cogs whirring.

"I'll stay another month." Was the conclusion he came to. At this Gwaine smiled and put him arm around his fellow knight's shoulders.

"Excellent! On a different note, did I neglect to mention that I'm running a bit short on money?"

0000

It had been a few days since Gwen had first taken up the identity of a young boy, she had finished her mourning.

"Amazing."

Gwen looked at the Geoffrey, one of the older servants of the king.

"What is?"

"You've only been here three days and you are already in Arthur's favour, perhaps above all others."

"Um… thank you. The king's coming."

They both stood to attention. The king walked and stopped before them.

"Ah, Loedegrance, I was looking for you."

It took Gwen a second to remember the pseudonym she had adopted while she was dressed as a man.

"What is it you wish for my lord?"

"I want you to try and woo the Lady Morgana, she will not admit me."

Geoffrey walked away but neither of them noticed. Gwen tried to think of an excuse, any excuse for why not to try and win him the Lady Morgana.

"But My Lord, she is still mourning, if she knows you sent me she won't admit me either."

Arthur contemplated this for moment. "Then tell them you will stand there and your foot shall grow like the tree if you don't have an audience."

Gwen sighed, "And if they do admit me, what then?"

"Then unfold the passion of my love!"

He smiled brightly and Gwen sighed for a second time.

"I'll do my best."

He smiled grew wider. "You truly are one of the greatest servants I've ever had!"

He walked away and she looked after him longingly, she had known him for only three days as Geoffrey said but his handsome face and charming ways had gotten the better of her as they had done for most of the women in Camelot. She murmured to herself, "I do what you ask only to please you even though your love for Morgana is hopelessly, I would gladly be your wife."

**A/N: Merlin really needs more regular women protagonists, seriously. I don't like the choice of Morgause as Maria but it was either her or Nimueh.**

**I'm sorry for making Sir Leon the idiot but I had no choice :(**


	3. Chapter 3

Morgause sighed and leaned against a table, it had been a long morning. She turned at the sound of the door opening and as the castle fool walked casually in.

"Morgana'll kill you for your absence."

"Let her kill me then."

"For a jester you're not very funny."

"I'm on my break." He slumped into a chair. "And I'm not a jester, I'm a fool, they're completely different."

"Shut up Merlin."

He smirked and leaned forward with a sparkle in his eyes, "So, how's Sir Gwaine?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm wondering if he's finally figured out that you love-"

The maid flushed bright red and cut him short, "Enough of that! I have duties to attend to, and so do you."

She left the room and so did the fool presently, he wondered the castle until he found the Lady Morgana, veiled, dressed in black and followed closely by her steward, Uther who was… pompous at best.

"God bless you lady!" Merlin exclaimed, bowing low. She simply folded and arms and looked down at him spitefully.

"Take away the fool."

Merlin straightened up again and grinned. "You heard the Lady, Uther! Take her away."

The steward made an expression that made him look like he had just eaten a lemon, he and the fool had always shared a mutual dislike though neither cared to admit it. Morgana's stern expression did not change as she replied. "Leave me you dishonest clown."

"Let the dishonest clown mend himself. You said to take away the fool so I repeat to take her away."

"I ask them to take _you_ away."

Merlin grinned again, "But I can prove that it is you Madonna that's the fool and not me."

She looked at him sceptically with both eyebrows raised. "Can you do it?"

"Dexterously, good Madonna."

She smirked at him words, "Out of all the fools I've met you have the best vocabulary, but prove you words."

"Good Madonna." He repeated, "Who are you mourning?"

"My brother." She replied coldly.

"I think he went to hell." He said lightly.

At those words a powerful anger rose up in her, "You truly are a fool! For I know his is in heaven!"

He smiled wickedly, "Then why do you mourn him, if he is in heaven?" He paused for effect, "Take away the fool gentlemen."

Everyone was silent for a moment, thinking , not least of all Morgana. After a while a small smile curled on her perfectly formed lips.

"What do you think Uther? Has he mended himself?"

Uther looked at the fool and smirked, "I'm amazed, my lady," He began, "That you take delight in such a barren rascal."

His sight and the fool's locked and neither said anything more. Morgause approached with a grim expression before Morgana could break the silence.

"My Lady, there's a gentleman at the gate that wishes to speak with you."

Morgana rolled her eyes, "Is it from Arthur?"

"I don't know."

The Lady sighed, "I wouldn't be surprised if it was, I asked him to wait seven years so naturally he sends someone three days later, is anyone stalling him?"

"Yes…"

"Who?"

"Uh…" Morgause coughed, it was obvious she didn't want to give a name. "Sir Gwaine."

"Oh no." Morgana ran a hand through her jet black hair, "Go to him Morgause and don't let him say… anything."

"Yes, My Lady."

Morgause left to carry out the instructions that would prevent disaster. Morgana turned to her steward.

"You go as well, if he's from the King tell him I'm ill, out, whatever you want. Just make sure he leaves."

Uther left with a nod, unaware of the menacing glare that Merlin was giving him. After a few minutes Merlin broke the silence with, "Here comes trouble."

She turned and rolled her eyes at Sir Gwaine who was stumbling through the corridor.

"Well, at least he's not talking with the messenger anymore. He's half drunk, as usual." She waited until he was close enough to hear, "Who's at the gate cousin?"

Gwaine jumped as though he hadn't been aware for their presence. "A gentleman." His speech was slightly slurred.

"Yes…" She spoke slowly and deliberately, "What sort of gentleman?"

"A gentleman." He repeated before catching sight of the fool, "Merlin!"

He smiled at his friend. "Gwaine!" He replied.

There was a pause from Gwaine, as though he was trying to remember something before saying "There's someone at the gate."

"Yes! What is he?" She was losing her patience though she had little to begin with.

The knight waved his hand idly, "Let him be the devil and he will. I don't care."

He started to walk away but then turned and spoke a few words that he seemed to think were incredibly wise. "Give me faith, say I." He then continued down the corridor on unsteady legs.

Morgana looked after him and then turned to Merlin. "Make sure he doesn't fall and break his neck or anything."

He nodded, "Farewell, good Madonna."

She walked into the room that was closest and took off her veil, shaking her hair as she did so. It felt like everyone in her house was a fool, not just Merlin. She had only been there few minutes when Uther returned.

"Has the man at the gate gone?"

"No, he refuses to leave until he speaks with you."

She thought for a moment. "What kind of man is he?"

"He is… of mankind."

"What manner of man?"

"Ill-mannered."

Morgana only just managed to control her temper, why did she have to ask the same question so many times and still get no answer?

"What sort of person is he? What age?"

"He's neither old enough for a man nor young enough for a boy. He talks bad temperedly."

She considered this before saying, "And he won't leave until he sees me?"

"No."

"Then let him come." She sighed resignedly. "Call in Morgause."

Morgause came in at Uther's order and fetched Morgana her veil which the Lady wore so that it covered her face as a sort of shield from the advances of King Arthur Pendragon.

**A/N: Abrupt ending, sorry. In the next chapter Morgana will meet 'Leodegrance' *evil laughter *.**


	4. Chapter 4

The youth came in and looked around, daunted by his surroundings. Morgana could see there was something… not exactly handsome like the King was but delicate about his face with dark curls that fell to shoulder length. After a short time his eyes fell on her then looked to Morgause.

"Umm… which of you is the Lady Morgana?"

"I will answer for her." Morgana said without emotion.

The youth looked up slightly as though trying to remember something and began. "Most radiant, exquisite and unmatched beauty…" He looked down again and said, "Are you the Lady Morgana because I don't want to waste this speech on the wrong ears, it's very well written and it's taken me a very long time to learn it."

Morgana rolled her eyes, she found she was doing that a lot today, "Who have you come from? King Arthur?"

"That question is out of my part." He replied timidly. "But are you Morgana? Because if you are I'd like to continue the speech."

"Are you a comedian?" She didn't find him in the least funny, even Merlin could come out with better stuff than this, she was just wondering why he was talking like this.

"Umm, no. Please, are you Morgana?"

"Yes I am." She snapped. The boy looked relieved if anything.

"Then I can continue with the speech."

"Then don't waffle and skip ahead to the important bits." Her vocabulary had become almost like that of an impatient child.

"It took me a long time to learn it and it's well written."

"It's more likely to be full of lies. I allowed you to approach more to marvel at you than to listen to you. If you are mad, be gone. If you have reason, be brief."

Morgause addressed the youth, "You will leave now."

"No." He replied simply, "I am to stay here until she hears me out."

Morgana sighed, Uther was right, he was ill-mannered. "Fine! Say your speech!"

"It is for your ear alone." He replied, glancing at Morgause as he did so.

Morgana paused before looking over at her maid, "Leave us alone, the sooner he will start the sooner he will finish." Morgause eyed the youth apprehensively before leaving. Morgana spoke to the boy who was so bold. "What's your text?"

The boy looked up as he had done before. "Most sweet lady-"

"No!" Why was everyone finding it so hard to know what she meant? "Where's you text from?"

"Arthur's heart."

"His heart?" She asked sceptically, "In what chapter of his heart?"

"The first and every."

"Oh, I have read it." She feigned being surprised then resumed her usual unimpressed tone, "It's heresy."

The boy smiled at this response, "I think not."

"I think so."

"Let me see you face."

Morgana looked at him sharply, "Do you have commission from the King to negotiate with my face? But I will draw the curtain and reveal the picture." She pulled the veil away from her face. "Is it well done?"

"Exquisitely done."

"Really… what did you say your name was?"

"Leodegrance."

"Leodegrance." She echoed back, "Do you really think it's well done? Because I for one do not, I have two lips, two eyes, a neck and a chin. What separates me apart from any other woman?"

"You are too proud." He replied. "The King loves you... so much"

"How does he love me?" Leodegrance didn't speak for a moment.

"With adorations, fertile tears, with groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire…"

Morgana stopped for a moment, her heart was beating faster she shook her head.

"I can't love him."

"If I loved you with Arthur's passion then I would build a cabin by your gate in hopes of catching just the smallest glimpse of you."

She looked up at the boy, there was an odd sincerity about him, "What else would you do?" She asked.

The youth grinned and continued, "I would write a thousand love songs and sing them all though the day and night." He paused and Morgana held her breath, "I would shout your name to the mountains and make the air call out 'Morgana!'"

He finished and Morgana realised she was grinning. "You would really do all that?" She whispered.

"All that and more if I loved you with the passion of my master."

Morgana sighed, "What is your heritage?"

"I am not a rich man but my family are high in the world, I'm a gentleman."

She nodded, barely listening before she suddenly came back to earth. "Return to the King, tell him I can't love him, to stop asking me to do what I cannot and to stop sending his messengers. Unless…" She stopped for a moment, "Unless he was to send you again."

"I'll tell him." Leodegrance replied, "Goodbye, fair cruelty."

He walked out and she stared hopelessly after him. "I'm a gentleman." She whispered to herself, "How could you be anything else?"

She glanced at a ring that Arthur had sent her some weeks before, she reached for the it, the jewel at the centre glittering ominously.

"Uther!" She called, the steward entered under a minute later.

"At your service, My Lady."

"That messenger of Arthur gave me this ring." She held up the jewellery then put in in her steward's hand. "Run after him and return it."

"Of course my lady."

He left the room and Morgana whispered to herself. "Is it possible to catch the plague so quickly?"

0000

"You! Boy, stop!"

Gwen turned to see a man, that servant of Morgana's, running towards her.

"Um… yes?"

"Here! My Lady asks you to leave no more!"

He held out a ring, she stared at it blankly. "I… um, I didn't give her a ring."

"Don't lie." Said the man, dropping the ring on the ground, "If it's worth you effort of reaching for it, there it is. If you do not take it, it belongs to whoever finds it."

With that he walked off, she looked at the ring that shone on the path.

"I didn't give her a ring." She repeated, "Oh no…" She groaned as she realized what had happened. "She loves me."

She carried on walking back to Arthur's castle, talking to herself. "Morgana loves me, but I love Arthur, and I have to convince Morgana to love Arthur who loves her." She sighed deeply and looked down. "When did everything become so complicated?"

**A/N: Because if you've sworn not to see any men for seven years you're so likely to fall in love with someone you've only known for five minutes. Mr Shakespeare may have a way with words but the situations he gets his characters into are just ridiculous.**

**But that still doesn't stop twelfth night from being amazing :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I'm such an idiot. I forgot "If music be the food of love." I might try and use it later.**

Elyan sighed and turned away from the sea, he couldn't bear to look at it ever since… He had broken his promise to his father. Lancelot approached him.

"Won't you stay any longer?"

"No."

He got up and began to walk away. But Lancelot followed him. "Let me go with you."

"No, trouble always follows me and if you come with me it'll follow you too." He quickened his tread.

"Then tell me where are you're going."

Elyan stopped then turned to his friend. "Camelot."

The expression on Lancelot's face changed to that of fear. "Why do you wish to leave?" He said finally, he seemed to be asking a lot of questions today.

Elyan opened his mouth, trying to find the words. "My sister." He said finally, "Guinevere, though to nearly everyone she was simply known as Gwen. We were both born in an hour, I thought we would both end within one as well. But you fixed that when you helped me to land."

"I'm so sorry." The good man murmured but Elyan didn't seem to hear.

"Everyone said we resembled each other, though many called her beautiful. I can't live the rest of my life when I wake up every day to that." He gestured to the crawling ocean. "That's why I can't stay, you've been a good friend." He said finally before walking away, leaving Lancelot behind him.

The sailor muttered to himself, "I would go with you, if I was not an enemy of the king."

0000

Gwaine stumbled through the gardens of the castle, when had walking become so hard? It was dark, that must be it. He glanced over a Leon who was laughing, loudly.

"Shhh, if Morgana, or worse, Uther finds us I'll be out of a home and you'll be out of her favour."

They staggered into the house and then to one of the rooms that was (what they thought) was a reasonable distance from anyone's room.

"A long night gentlemen?" Merlin stepped out from the shadows.

"Merlin!" Cried Gwaine, "Just the man!" He dropped a few coins on a table. "There, six pieces of silver. How about a song?"

Merlin glanced at the money on the table then looked back at the knights, "That's only four pieces of silver but no matter, I'll just skip a lot of verses. Do you want a love song or a song of good life?"

Gwaine collapsed into a chair, "A love song my good fello- fell… um, fool."

"Yes I'm not a fan of a good life."

Merlin frowned at Leon's statement then reached over to a lyre and started to strum a slow tune.

"O mistress mine, where are you roaming?

O, stay and hear; your true love's coming,

That can sing both high and low:

Trip no further, pretty sweeting;

Journeys end in lovers meeting,

Every wise man's son doth know."

The two knights had stopped laughing and smiling, now they were silent while staring into space. Neither of them noticed when Morgause came in and leaned against the doorway.

"What is love? 'tis not hereafter;

Present mirth hath present laughter;

What's to come is still unsure:

In delay there lies no plenty;

Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty,

Youth's a stuff will not endure."

No one spoke after he had finished, until Gwaine said, "A contagious breath."

"Very sweet and contagious." Leon added.

Morgause glanced at him, "Don't you have any opinions of your own?"

Not knowing where this new voice had come from Gwaine let out a cry and fell out of his chair. The maid glanced at Merlin.

"I wish you wouldn't encourage them." She helped Gwaine up off the floor. "You'd better get to your rooms."

"No!" Cried Gwaine, "I haven't had a chance to sing yet! 'There was a man in Babylon!-'"

"Please don't sing." Said the fool.

"You did!" The knight shouted indignantly.

"Two things, One: I'm fool, singing is basically all I do. Two: I sang _in_ tune."

"I don't care! 'O the twelfth day of December-'"

"Shut up Gwaine!" Morgause snapped. "Any moment Uther's going to come through that door and-"

"What's going on?" The steward said from the doorway.

"It's Mr Cheerful himself." Said Merlin, coldly.

"What are you doing?" Uther took a few steps into the room, "Are you mad? Have you no shame? You are noble, you should know better. Sir Gwaine," He face the young knight, "Morgana keeps you here as a member of her family, but unless you can fix your… little faults she is willing to bid you farewell."

He turned and was about to leave the room when Gwaine's voice started to sing behind him.

"Farewell , dear heart, since I must needs be gone."

Morgause covered her face with her hands. "Oh, my god."

Merlin grinned and got up next to him to sing a duet. "His eyes do show his days are almost done."

"But I will never die!"

"Sir Gwaine, there you lie!"

Uther's expression was growing worse by the second but Gwaine still sang.

"Shall I bid him go?"

"What an if you do?"

"Shall I bid him go, and spare not?"

"O no, no, no, no, you dare not."

Gwaine glared at the clown. "You sang out of tune sir, you lie." The knight turned to the steward, "You're right Uther, I am noble, I am a knight. And what are you? You Uther are nothing more than a steward."

Everyone was quiet for what seemed like hours, Uther walked out again. "She will hear of this."

Morgause watched until he was out of earshot before muttering. "Go shake your ears."

Merlin frowned at her, "What does that mean exactly?"

"Shhh!" She stared into space and a crafty smile took possession of her. "I've just had an idea." She said slowly, "To take Uther down a peg or two."

Gwaine and Leon leapt forward. "What's the plan?"

She grinned, "Now, Uther doesn't have many faults, he's virtuous and hardworking and-"

"What do you mean he doesn't have many faults? He's rude to nearly everyone, he insulted me yesterday, he's conceited-"

"Shut up Merlin. Anyway, it is because of these virtues that my plan is sure to work."

"What part of that sentence made any sense?"

"I said shut up. Because of these virtues he thinks that everyone who knows him, loves him and this is how my plan shall work." She paused and breathed in, "It had been commented on in the past that my handwriting and Morgana's are very similar, I will forge a love letter from Morgana to Uther and make sure he finds it. He will believe it and act like a fool."

"I find that offensive!"

Ignoring Merlin, a wide grin was spreading across Gwaine's face. "How'd you think of something like that?"

"I have a lot of spare time." She walked out of the room.

"She's a good wench." Leon murmured.

Merlin narrowed his eyes "Surly good and wench are contradictions in terms."

Gwaine ignored the fool's comment for a second time, "That she is, she's a beagle."

"What?"

"A true-bread. And one that adores me."

"Why isn't anyone listening to me?"

"I was adored once too." Leon said in a faraway voice.

"Really?"

The two knights walked silently out, leaving Merlin still sitting alone in the room.

"Fine! Call each other breeds of dog and contradict yourselves if you want, see if I care!"

**A/N: Possibly my favourite Toby (Gwaine) & CO chapter so far. Well, next comes my favourite Viola/Orsino (Gwen /Arthur) scene. Why can't we do twelfth night for school? *sigh***

**The 'art but a steward' is a very unlikely thing for Gwaine to sat but it has to be done.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This scene from twelfth night has some of my favourite quotes ever.**

The melancholy tune echoed throughout the throne room. The lyrics were what they were always about, love. The song reached its conclusion, Arthur was resting his head on his hand with his eyes closed and nearly everyone thought he was asleep until his voice called to the musicians.

"If music be the food of love, play on. Give me excess of it." The music started up again, the king reopened his eyes. "That song we heard last night, who sang it?"

Geoffrey stepped forward, "The Lady Morgana's fool, Merlin. He's in the castle somewhere."

"Find him."

Geoffrey and some the other servants walked out, Arthur gestured to the musicians to continue playing until they found the fool. The King looked at Leodegrance who was standing beside the throne. He shifted his position in the chair and looked at the expression on the boy's face. He smiled.

"By my life, you've stumbled on a woman you love."

The boy's eyes widened and he started to stutter. "I- I'm not, I mean I don't."

Arthur smiled slyly. "So what type of person is she?"

Gwen swallowed, she wasn't sure what to say, "She is… of your temperament." She started mentally kicking herself, surly he'd see though that.

The King just smiled and replied, "She's not worth you then."

Gwen tried to stop herself smiling, he thought he wasn't worth her love, or words to that effect.

Arthur saw the smile, he was probably thinking of her now, he didn't like it. Why didn't he like it? Leodegrance was young, that was it, he was young. Sixteen? Seventeen? Far too young.

"What age is she?"

Why was he asking that?

"About your age." Gwen told herself to stop comparing the non-existent woman to Arthur.

"Too old by far." He said in reply, "Women are…" he moved his and a little while trying to think of a comparison, "Like roses. As soon as they bloom into beauty they wilt away. Love someone younger than yourself."

Gwen looked ahead of her, for all his valour and honour he was rather shallow, "Ok then." was all she could say.

Geoffrey came back in with the fool in tow. Arthur sat up when he saw them.

"Fool, would you play that song we heard last night?"

Merlin shrugged and started to play on his lyre.

"Come away, come away, death,

And in sad cypress let me be laid;

Fly away, fly away breath;

I am slain by a fair cruel maid."

Arthur sighed, Morgana was cruel. Perhaps he could find someone kind, he looked at Leodegrance, his eyes were a deep brown and seemed to study everything they looked on. He swallowed and tried to focus his attention on the fool.

"My shroud of white, stuck all with yew,

O, prepare it!

My part of death, no one so true

Did share it.

Not a flower, not a flower sweet

On my black coffin let there be strown;

Not a friend, not a friend greet

My poor corpse, where my bones shall be thrown:

A thousand thousand sighs to save,

Lay me, O, where

Sad true lover never find my grave,

To weep there!"

The silence after the song seemed to go on forever, "Leave me." Arthur murmured. "Now!"

Everyone got up to leave.

"Prat." Arthur was sure he heard the fool mutter under his breath.

"What was that _Mer_lin?"

"Nothing."

The king threw a few coins onto the floor. "Payment for your pains."

"No thanks, I only charge drunken lowlifes."

Merlin wondered out with the rest. Arthur got up and leaned against a wall, running a hand down his face. "I'm going mad…" He mumbled, "I love Morgana." He said determinedly.

A door creaked behind him, he turned and saw Leodegrance.

"Are you alright sire?" He asked timidly.

He nodded, "Yes, I'm fine. You will go to Morgana again tomorrow."

The boy shook his head, "But she can't love you."

"I can't be given that answer."

"But you must," He took a few more steps into the room, "Perhaps there is a woman somewhere who loves you as much as you love Morgana."

The King laughed, short and coldly, "No woman's heart can bare the beating of a love as strong as mine. No woman's heart's is big enough to hold so much, they lack retention. Woman's love may be called appetite, but mine is all as hungry as the sea and can digest as much. Do not compare the love a woman could bare me and that I have for Morgana."

It took Gwen a moment to think of a reply, perhaps she didn't love Arthur as much as he loved Morgana, but Morgana didn't love him at all. "But I know-"

"What do you know?" He snapped, "What could you possibly know, you've only just fallen in love for the first time, what could you know?"

"All too well how much a woman can love a man. My father had a daughter loved a man as much as… if I was a woman, I would love you."

"And what's her history?"

Gwen realized that in order to answer the question she wold have to decide what would come of her love for Arthur.

"… A blank," Gwen closed her eyes and swallowed, "she never told her love. She let the unhappiness it gave her to eat away at her soul. But she still sat like patience on a monument, smiling at grief." Gwen turned to conceal the tears that were about to form in her eyes.

Arthur was starting to feel concern for this sister, "Boy… did your sister die of her love?"

When Leodegrance turned around the king saw the wet cheeks and guessed the answer before he had spoken.

"I am all the daughters of my father's house." He sighed, "And all the brothers too… and yet I know not." Arthur nodded, although he didn't understand, "I'll go tomorrow." The boy went on, "To Morgana's house, if it will please you."

He left the room and Arthur shook his head, "I'm going completely mad."

**A/N: Orsinoooooooooooo! How do you not see through that?**

**I love the simply beauty of the scene, the way Viola never actually lies in this scene is just amazing :')**

**On an unrelated note, does it bother anyone else that Feste charged Sir Toby for a song but not Orsino?**


	7. Chapter 7

Morgause was on the lookout. The plan was ready. The love letter from Morgana had been forged and now all they needed was the target of their prank. She caught sight of Uther and ran to another end of the garden and called to the knights.

"He's coming, quick!"

Gwaine and Leon didn't give it a second thought, they ran to the end of the garden but Gwaine stopped to talk to one of the older servants.

"Listen, Gaius, Uther's about to get what's coming to him. Wanna watch? I know he brought you out of Morgana's favour."

"If he finds out I was involved and tells Morgana…"

"He won't be able to, that's the beauty of it."

The servant followed the knights and the maid who dropped the letter in the path before running away while the three men hid behind a hedge.

Uther strolled along leisurely along the path before sitting on a stone bench and talking to himself.

"Morgause once said that if Morgana were to love anyone it would be someone of my nature. She does respect me above all her servants."

"Rouge." Gwaine muttered.

"To be Lord Uther…" The steward continued.

"Rouge." Gwaine repeated, earning a 'shhh' from everyone else.

"There was an example of a Lady who married her servant."

"Someone give me a stone, I want to practice my aiming."

"Shhh…"

"When we were three months married." He started imagining his life with Morgana. "Calling my officers about me. Asking them to bring forth my cousin Gwaine."

"Hey!"

"And while I wait for them to find him I could play idly with some rich jewel. Gwaine approaches and extend my hand to him and smile kindly."

"And then cousin Gwaine punches you in the mouth."

"Shhh!"

"And I shall say to him, 'Cousin Gwaine. You must amend your drunkenness.'"

"How dare he! That's my greatest feature!" The knight stood up but Gaius pulled him back down by the shoulder.

"And you waste your time with that foolish knight…"

"I bet it's me." Leon whispered.

"…one Sir Leon.'"

"I knew it!"

The other two heads in the row slowly turned so they were looking at Leon, then back to Uther.

The steward looked to the ground, "What's that?" He picked up the letter and everyone held their breath as he read it. "'To the unknown beloved'. This is My Lady's writing."

He looked around, broke the wax seal then began to read. "I am above you but do not be afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them. Your destiny lies in your hands. I wish to see my love forever smiling and cross-gartered in yellow stockings …" He trailed off for a moment and the watchers behind the hedge were laughing silently as he read on. "If you do not wish to be my love then please remain my _steward_!"

He got up from the bench with a start. "It's me! She loves me!" He held the letter closely, "I will smile! I will do everything!"

He walked away in a blissful daze and the group behind the hedge burst into laughter.

Gwaine wiped a tear away, "I could marry Morgause for that."

Leon caught his breath, "Me too."

"You really need your own opinions."

**A/N: All hail he love octagon!**

**This scene goes on forever and most of it after Malvolio exits is Sir Toby going on about how he loves Maria and Sir Andy agreeing.**

**Maybe I should have mad Gaius Malvolio since Richard Wilson played him reacently.**

**Cross gartering is when you wrap ribbons around the leg so they form a crisscross pattern…**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I particularly like Feste in this scene. The lines he comes out with are just amazing. Not to mention Sir Andy's opinion on policy.**

Gwen sighed, this visit to Morgana would not end well. At least she knew her disguise was working. She walked to the house where the Merlin was sitting on a wall and fiddling with his apparently broken lyre.

"Hi, didn't you play at the King's castle last night?"

He didn't look up from his work as he replied. "Yep."

"Do you live by your music?"

"No, I live by the church." He murmured absent-mindedly.

She was a little surprised by this, "You're a churchman?"

"No, I live by the church because I live in my house and my house stands by the church."

Gwen frowned, then decided it would be a good idea to change the subject. "Aren't you the Lady Morgana's fool?"

He decided that this was the right time to look up from his lyre and did so, "No, she won't have a fool until she marries. Fools are to husbands are what pilchards are to herrings. So I'm not her fool but merely her corrupter of words." He started to fix his instrument again, "S' there."

Gwen just watched, shrugged and put a bronze coin next to him on the wall. "There's payment for you."

When he didn't react she started to walk away, until Merlin called to her.

"And now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, might see fit to send you a beard." He looked up again.

Gwen was unsure how to reply to this. "Umm… no thanks. Is Morgana inside?"

"My lady is within sir. I will tell them where you came from, who you are and what you are like when you are out of my domain, I could say 'element' but the word is overused."

With that he walked off. Gwen just stood there. "Well that was… different."

The man who had greeted her the first time she had seen Morgana - Gwaine? - walked up to her with a companion by his side.

"Hello sir!"

"Umm… hi."

"Are you looking for my cousin?"

"I'm bound to your cousin… I mean that she's the reason for me being here."

"Yes…" There was an awkward silence, she looked at the companion but he only stared into space and didn't say anything. Gwaine spoke again. "Taste your legs sir."

She frowned, "What?"

The sound of quick footfall made Gwen turn away. What she saw was Morgana, running towards her but slowing down to try and make it look like she was only walking. Gwen swallowed and, trying to be convincing, bowed.

"Most excellent Lady, may the heaven rain odours on you." She glanced at Gwaine and his companion, "As always, my piece is for your ear alone."

The lady smiled and started to walk through the gardens, linking her arm through Gwen's.

"Of course."

Gwaine watched them walk away, there was defiantly something strange about Leodegrance. He glanced at Leon then did a double take. The knight was counting on his fingers and muttering under his breath.

"What are you doing?"

"Odours, rain, ear. I'll have them all ready the next time I speak with Morgana."

Gwaine frowned, then nodded. "You do that."

0000

Gwen swallowed then freed her arm from Morgana. The lady walked them to a stone bench and sat down, placing her hand next to her on the bench as a gesture for Gwen to sit next to her. The girl swallowed again and sat on the edge of the bench.

"Arthur asks me to tell you-"

"Shhh." Morgana placed her slender finger on Leodegrance's lips. "Do not speak of the king."

Gwen tried to get away "My Lady-"

"Please, the last time you came I sent you a ring. I cannot deny that I love you." She stopped after she had finished her plight, evidently waiting for Gwen to reply.

The supposed boy opened his mouth and said slowly, "I pity you."

Morgana smiled desperately, "That is a degree to love."

Leodegrance shook his curls, "No, not in the slightest. We often pity enemies." He glanced over his shoulder, "I'm going now."

She turned to go but Morgana held her arm, "Please stay! I beg of you."

"I don't love you!" She pulled her arm out of Morgana's and ran as fast as she could to the gate, she could still hear the Lady behind her calling.

"Please come again!"

Gwen groaned. This was a lot worse than she thought.

0000

Leon loaded another trunk onto the cart. "I'm leaving, you can't stop me."

"But, why?" Gwaine asked, exasperated.

Leon shot him an angry look and picked up another box, "Morgana paid more attention to the King's serving man than she ever did to me! I saw it, in the garden!"

Gaius walked up next to Gwaine and they exchanged looks. "You could win her back." The servant put in. "There is no better way to win a woman than by displays of valour or policy."

Leon thought about this for a moment before starting to take his things off the cart. "It must be with valour, for policy I hate."

Gwaine grinned, "You can challenge the King's man to a duel the next time he's here, write a note to challenge him."

The knight nodded enthusiastically and ran back inside to prepare to defend his honour.

Gaius looked warily at the knight, "I've seen the messenger, he's not a fighter."

"Yeah. That's where we come in."

Before he had time to explain Morgause ran towards them, wearing a huge grin.

"You have to see this! Uther is wearing yellow stockings!"

Gwaine's mouth fell open, he wasn't sure if the plan would work, Uther wasn't gullible. "And cross gartered?"

"Yes! He's following the love note to the letter. He's smiling more than I've ever seen him!"

Gwaine grinned, "Let's take a look at our project."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Ok, this chapter's too short but I've had a lot of school work to do. So I thought I should upload this now as it is rather than make you wait any longer.**

Elyan groaned and stared at the map of Camelot. It was a lot harder to navigate than he had realized and the busting crowd was becoming too much for him.

A hand tapped on his shoulder, "Do you want some help?"

At the voice he jumped, turned and then groaned again. "Lancelot… I told you not to follow me."

"You are my friend, I wanted to make sure you were alright."

Elyan couldn't deny he was pleased to see a familiar face, but Lance seemed nervous. "Are you alright?"

"Yes…" Lance leaned in and whispered, "Once in a sea battle I against the king I… if I'm found here I'll pay dearly." He took out the small leather bag that contained his money and pushed it into Elyan's hand. "There, I can't use any of it here so you might as well take it. I'll be in The Rising Sun, remember."

"I will." Elyan mumbled as he walked through the streets, eager to see what Camelot had to offer.

0000

Morgana sighed and ran the brush through her waterfall of ebony hair. She couldn't stop thinking about Leodegrance. "Morgause, where's Uther?" Maybe the melancholy tones of the steward would help her think of something else.

Morgause feigned sincerity and shook her head, "He is coming My Lady but… he is acting very strangely."

Morgana frowned, "How so?"

"He only smiles. I don't believe he is in his right mind."

It was well know that Uther never smiled. The door opened and the steward entered, a grin breaking up his usually serious features.

"Sweet lady!" He exclaimed, bowing low.

Morgause was laughing behind her hand as Morgana asked, "You're smiling Uther, it's very unlike you."

"Why shouldn't I smile? Though it does cause some obstruction of the blood, this cross-gartering." He said, flinging one of his bright yellow legs forward as he did so.

"Right…" Morgana's eyebrows were raised high.

The maid walked forward, trying to conceal laughter, "Uther! Why do you come with this ridiculous boldness before my lady?"

The steward ignored her and took Morgana's hands, "'Do not be afraid of greatness' it was well written."

The lady glanced at Morgause before replying, "What do you mean?"

"'Some are born great-'"

"What?"

"'Some achieve greatness-'"

"What do you-"

"'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'"

She tried to bolt to the door but he still held her hands tightly, "'I wish to see my love forever smiling-'"

"Smiling?"

"'In cross-gartered yellow stockings-'"

"Cross-gartered?"

"'And if you do not wish to be my love then please remain my steward.'"

Gaius walked in, "My Lady the…" He stopped and stared at Uther who was clutching her hand.

"State you piece!" Morgana barked, impatiently, cheeks burning.

"The… uh, messenger of the king's is here again."

Morgana quickly detached Uther. "I'll come to him." She was at the door when she turned to Morgause and said, "Let Uther be looked to, make sure he has special care taken of him."

0000

"Where is he?" Gwaine strutted through the house, looking for Uther.

Morgause lead him to the room where the steward had come with the yellow stockings, opening the door, she uttered curses under her breath when she saw he'd gone. She led the group that consisted of her, Gwaine and Gaius to the library where Uther was sitting in a dignified manner and reading.

Gaius walked forward, "How are you sir?"

Uther looked at the group with a bored expression then went back to his reading. "Let me read alone."

Morgause pretended to be worried as she said, "Sir Gwaine, My lady asks you to take care of him."

"Does she really?" Uther murmured sarcastically.

Gwaine stood forward with an air of authority, "Stand back! Come on man! Fight the devil within you!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"The devil has a firm hold on his wits!" Gaius exclaimed.

The maid tugged on Gwaine's sleeve, "Get him to prey Gwaine!"

"Go away." The steward sighed.

Morgause turned to the other two, "Well, it's obvious he will not hear of godliness."

Uther got up from his seat, "You are shallow things. I am no longer of you level." He walked out with his head held high while the group fell about laughing.

"That was amazing!" Morgause choked.

Gwaine nodded, "And now, we'll have him put into darkness and bound, like any mad man should be."

The laughed disappeared, "But won't that drive him mad… for real?" The maid asked and Gwaine nodded.

"Your point being?"

The two servants glanced at each other before Leon came in holding the letter he's written to challenge the youth to a duel.

"If this doesn't do it, nothing will."

The other knight walked forward and took the letter from him, "Alright, let's have a read. 'Youth…" He glanced at his friend who shrugged.

"I don't know his name."

"'If you are anything, you are a scurvy fellow. I will challenge you to a duel to defend my honour. You come to the Lady Morgana and she treats you kindly… but that is not what I challenge you on. I shall intercept you going home where if by chance you kill me…" Gwaine paused and frowned, "'you kill me like a rouge and a villain, farewell and may god have mercy on one of our souls. He may have mercy upon mine. Your sworn enemy Sir Leon…"

He reached the end. No one found it remotely funny. "I'll give it to him, he's talking to Morgana now." Gwaine sighed, "Go and practice your fencing.

Leon nodded and walked out, as soon as he was out of the door Gwaine screwed up the letter and threw it over his shoulder, "I'll deliver the challenge in my own words."


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry for the late update… I've got a lot of Christmas show rehearsals and exams and stuff. This chapter's too short again but I like the ending point so… yeah.**

"You have a heart of stone Leodegrance." Morgana snapped at the messenger who was still avoiding her advances at all costs. "What do you want?"

"For you to love my master." The boy replied, exasperatedly.

"And why should I have given him what I have willingly given to you?"

"Because I don't want it, he does." Gwen snapped back, she noticed Morgana smiling at her dreamily, "What?"

"You're so handsome when you're angry." She replied helplessly.

"I give up!" Gwen exploded, she didn't easily lose her temper but this was too much.

She walked away and ignored Morgana's plea for her to return. She had just gotten out of the garden when hand took a firm hold on her arm and started leading her away. She looked at her interceptor and saw it was Gwaine.

"What are you doing?"

He looked at her gravely, "You have offended Sir Leon and he wishes to duel with you."

Gwen panicked and tried to get out of his grip, "But what have a done?"

He sighed melodramatically, "Alas, I do not know. But he won't rest until he has defended his honour."

He stopped her and a few yards away she could see Leon lunging at an imaginary enemy. Gwaine held out a sword to her which she reluctantly took.

"What sort of man is he? If he's reasonable surly he can see that I have done nothing wrong."

The knight had to use all his willpower to stop himself from grinning, the plan was in action. "Oh, he's a fierce fighter, a devil, he has killed countless men in duels and I hate to think what will come of this one."

Gwen swallowed. She couldn't fight… at all. She looked at Gwaine, "Could you… could you try and talk him out of it?"

He shook his head, "I will try. Gaius!" The elderly servant walked over to them , "Keep an eye on him."

He walked off towards Leon who said when he was in earshot, "I- I'm not sure this is a good idea, I've never been the best fighter. Maybe policy is the way to go."

Gwaine shook his head again, "The boy won't back down now, he's too worked up. Why, he even made a swipe at me when I was bringing him over."

Leon swallowed, "Really? How, um, how good a fighter is he?"

The knight proceeded with his plan, "The best in Arthur's court. They say he has been the fencer to the King of Persia."

"It's too late to back out isn't it?"

Gwaine flashed him a legendary grin, "A little." He turned and beckoned Gaius to walk to him, "What does the boy think of Leon?" He whispered.

"He thinks that he's the best fighter in Camelot."

"Good." Gwaine started to walk back to Leodegrance but Gaius stopped him.

"Do you mind me asking… why are we doing this?"

Gwaine rolled his eyes as though it was obvious, "Because they won't fight unless they think the other insists on it, and if they don't fight Leon'll leave, and if Leon leaves who's gonna pay my bar tab?"

"Ah."

"Indeed, now give Leon a pep talk so he won't run off." Gaius nodded and hobbled in the direction of the paling knight.

Gwaine walked to the messenger who looked at him imploringly, "Have you made him see sense?"

"Alas, no. He will fight with you."

Gwaine started to lead her towards the knight that was being pushed forward by Gaius. Leon reluctantly lifted his blade. Gwen swallowed and lifted hers as well. Gwaine held the tips of their swords. "I want a clean fight. In three, two, one-"

"Stop!" A voice no one recognised shouted. A man with dark hair ran forward and took Gwen's sword away. "If this he's done anything to offend you then let me take the blame."

Gwaine frowned, "Sorry, who are you?"

"That is none of your business. I will fight in my friend's place."

By this point Gwen was thoroughly confused, but she was pleased the fight had been stopped.

Gwaine grinned at the mysterious stranger who had come forward. "Alright then." He put a hand on the hilt of his sword.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you…" Gaius murmured.

"And why not?" the knight drawled.

"Because Arthur's guards are running towards us."

The stranger turned then dropped the sword and held his hands up to show he was unarmed. The guards bound his hands, one of them sneering, "Lancelot, you have come nerve coming back to Camelot. The king'll be pleased to have you back where he can see you."

The man whose name Gwen now knew to be 'Lancelot' looked at her pleadingly, "This came with seeking you. I need my money back."

Gwen frowned, "What money?"

"The money I gave you."

"You… didn't give you any. But I'll lend you some for your kindness."

He looked at her in dismay as the guards dragged him away. Gwen watched them take away Lancelot, more confused than ever. She awkwardly walked away, questions buzzing in her ears.

**A/N: umm… for the purposes of this fic can we please pretend that Gwen in drag looks exactly like Elyan?**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: In answer to Larasmith's questions, I don't think I made it clear enough in the last chapter. Lancelot mistook Gwen for Elyan because in this world of my imaginings they look alike when they're wearing the same cloths. That was why Lancelot asked her for money he had leant Elyan and didn't understand why she wouldn't give it to him.**

Elyan gazed at the large building that he was standing in front of, he had gotten lost again. He looked at his map, if he could just find out where the house was then he could get back to the rising sun.

A light hand tapped on his shoulder and he turned to a man in a brown jacket and a neckerchief. "Uh… yes?"

"My Lady asked you to come to her." The man said simply before turning around and walked away. When he was a few yards away the man turned and called, "Well, aren't you coming?"

Elyan shook his head and looked back at the map, "I don't know you."

Merlin frowned and walked back towards him, "You know me. 'Husbands and fools are pilchards and herrings'."

Elyan frowned, this one must be mad, "I don't know you." He repeated.

Merlin rolled his eyes, "Yeah, that's right: I don't know you, no I wasn't sent to you by My Lady, no your name is not master Leodegrance. Nope, this isn't my nose either. Nothing that is so is so."

"Go and annoy someone else… whoever you are."

Merlin looked at the house then at Elyan, "Then what should I tell My Lady?"

Elyan rolled up the map and walked off, something was very wrong here. He didn't get far before he was surrounded by group of men, one looked quite stupid, the other looked a little drunk and the third was an elderly servant. Leon walked forward bad temperedly.

"So I have met you again." He punched Elyan squarely in the jaw.

The man looked up at his attacker, was everyone in Camelot mad? He straightened up and hit the man, only to be held back by the drunken one. Elyan freed himself and turned on the pair, taking out his blade.

"Draw your sword."

Gwaine grinned, "I may not have many talents. But duelling is defiantly one I do possess." He pulled his sword from its sheath and rushed at Elyan who dived out of the way and tried to attack from behind. Gwaine turned and quickly countered.

It was then that a woman's voice shattered the air, "Stop! Gwaine!" a raven haired beauty ran forward and flung her arms around Elyan's neck, "Are you hurt my love?" Elyan opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, unsure of what to say.

The woman turned angrily on Gwaine, "Get out of my sight you ungrateful wretch!"

The knight glared at Elyan before turning and leading his small group away. Morgana clung to Elyan's neck again, "Please don't go. Come back to my house and I will make sure you will have your every need tended to."

The astonished man drew away. She was probably the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He covered his face with his hands, "Am I mad? Or am I dreaming? If I'm dreaming I don't want to wake up."

"Come with me." The woman's voice said and he turned to her once more, "Would you be ruled by me?"

He allowed a grin to form on his lips, "Madam, I will."

She smiled broadly and embraced him tightly, "Say so!"

0000

Gwaine handed Merlin a long gown and a thick, white beard. They and Morgause were standing outside the dark room Uther was being kept in for being a madman.

"Right, put these on, tell him you're master Emrys the minister." Gwaine said.

"Hey! I don't tell you how to do your job." Merlin retorted, pulling the gown over his head and putting on the white wig and beard.

He hunched over a little, and walked to the door of the dark room and lifted a hatch on the door that revealed a barred window. "Master Emrys is here." He said in a croaky voice, "To visit Uther, the lunatic."

The steward ran to towards the light, he was covered in dirt and was shivering, "Sir Emys, go to My Lady-"

"Fiend!" Merlin exploded, "Do you talk of nothing but ladies?"

Uther shook his head desperately, "I have been abused terribly they have out me into darkness-"

"You say this room is dark?" Merlin interrupted.

"As hell."

He shook his head sadly, "But it has bay windows, transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stores toward the south north are as lustrous as ebony."

"Please believe me, I am not mad!" Uther sobbed.

"Alright…" Merlin looked up as though he was thinking something over, "If you are not mad then you can tell me the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl."

"How am I supposed to know that?"

"Then you're mad." Merlin said conclusively, closing the hatch as he did so.

Uther banged on the door, "Master Emrys!"

Merlin pulled the wig off and took away the beard while Gwaine clapped, "That was amazing!" He sighed and looked nearly sad, "I'm not taking part in this anymore, Morgana's annoyed with me enough as it is. She'll throw me out if she knew about this."

He started to walk out, then lightly tough Morgause on the arm to get her attention, "Come by and by to my chamber." He whispered then walked away.

Morgause turned to Merlin who was grinning, "Shut up Merlin." She mumbled before walking away as well.

The fool smiled to himself and started to gather up his costume. He started to sing to himself, as he often did.

"Hey, Robin, jolly Robin,

Tell me how thy lady does.

My lady is unkind, perdy.

Alas, why is she so?

She loves another- wait, what?"

He stopped as heard Uther slamming his fists against the door of the dark room.

"Fool!" He cried out , "Fool!"

Merlin opened the hatch and landed against the door.

"Fool…" Uther murmured, "Good fool."

"It's 'Merlin'." The jester murmured, not trying to sound too bored.

"Merlin! Merlin! I meant Merlin!" Uther nearly sobbed.

"I heard on the underground grapevine that you've gone mad." Merlin said casually as though it was something as trivial as the weather.

"I am telling you, I am as well in my wits as you are."

"Well, I'm a fool so that's not really saying much."

"Please, Merlin." Uther begged, "Fetch me light, ink and paper. Then give my letter to My Lady."

"Hmmm…" Merlin pretended to be in deep thought, "Alright. But tell me the truth. Are you mad?"

"I am not mad!" Uther cried out.

Merlin turned quickly and reached a hand to hatch, "Nope, I won't believe a madman till I see his brains." He shut the hatch and walked away from the steward who still called for the fool.

Merlin walked casually down the path of the garden, He had forgotten what he singing so started something new.

"I am gone, sir,

And anon, sir,

I'll be with you again,

In a trice,

Like to the old Vice,

Your need to sustain;

Who, with dagger of lath,

In his rage and his wrath,

Cries, ah, ha! To the devil:

Like a mad lad,

Pare thy nails, dad;

Adieu, good man devil."

Out of the corner of his eye the fool was Leodegrance. He looked oddly confused and out of place. He walked back and watched.

Elyan looked around the gardens. Morgana had gone for the moment. It was hard to take in. Everything was so… perfect.

"Maybe the lady's mad…" He murmured to himself, "But then she couldn't run her house, which she does." He took out the pouch of money Lancelot had given him, "What happened to Lancelot? He wasn't at The Rising Sin when I checked. They said he had gone out to look for me." He sighed and felt the weight of the cold coins in his hand before slipping it back into his bag. He turned around and saw Morgana coming towards him with a man by her side.

"Leodegrance, please do not be startled by my haste. But if would leave again I wouldn't be able to…" She could find words to express her sorrow, "So, please come with me and this holy man to the church to… exchange our vows."

She watched him for a reaction, a small smile appeared, "I will follow this good man and go with you. And having sworn truth, ever will be true."

**A/N: Because it's ok to marry a random stranger you've only known for five minutes and you think might have mental issues.**


	12. Chapter 12

"Won't you let me see what he wrote?"

Merlin glanced at Gaius. He had the letter Uther had written for Morgana on one hand and was sitting outside the house waiting for… something.

"Grant me a favour Gaius."

"Anything."

"Don't ask to see the letter."

The old servant scowled, "I don't see any reason not to show me. And what are you looking at?"

The servant had noticed the boy gazing into the distance. He turned and saw the king with Leodegrance by his side.

"The king?" He looked back at Merlin. "Why do you care about that?"

"Well it'll be interesting to see how this resolves itself, mistaken identity and all that."

Gaius frowned, "What?"

"Never mind."

The king approached them, "Are you Morgana's servants?"

"Yep." Merlin replied simply.

Arthur frowned, "You're the fool… Merlin, aren't you?"

"Yeah."

The king grinned, "How are you?"

The fool shrugged, "Not bad. My friends set me back but my enemies set me straight again."

Arthur raised his eyebrows, "Isn't that the other way around?"

"No, because my friends praise me and make an ass of me but my enemies tell me I'm an ass. So my friends make a fool of me while my enemies give me knowledge of myself."

Arthur opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. Instead he asked, "Can you tell Morgana I'm here to speak with her?"

"I can." He said, standing up as he did so. "But I am not sure she is the one you should be seeking." He said, glancing at Gwen as he did so.

Arthur looked over at Leodegrance, "What do you think he meant by that?"

"No idea…" Gwen mumbled.

Arthur nodded distractedly before they were interrupted by an abrupt, "Sire!"

He turned quickly to a group of guards holding a man he knew too well, "_You_..." He drawled, "You were foolish to return here."

"He was kind to me, sir." Gwen whispered meekly, not wanting to go against Arthur's wishes.

"This is Lancelot." One of the guards barked obediently, "The villainous pirate who led the sea battle when your uncle Agravaine lost his leg."

"I was never a pirate." Lancelot hissed, not taking his eyes off Gwen. "But I know I am your enemy. And I am no fool for coming here. I came as a companion to that ungrateful boy by your side. Who I saved the life of, yet will deny me in my hour of need."

Arthur looked at Leodegrance who shook his head, "I don't know what he's talking about."

The king looked back at his prisoner and asked, "When did you come to Camelot?"

The sailor was still staring at Gwen as he replied, "Today and for three months before that I was his only friend."

Out of the corner of his eye Arthur saw Morgana walking through the gardens. "There she is…" He murmured before turning angrily on Lancelot, "But for you. Your lies do not convince me. For three months this youth has tended on me."

Lancelot frowned and his confused eyes darted from Arthur to Leodegrance. The king gazed at Morgana longingly before looking back at the guards. "Take him with us. I don't want him out of my sight."

The guard nodded and followed the king and his manservant. Arthur kissed Morgana's hand but she quickly withdrew it.

"Hasn't Leodegrance expressed my opinion on your advances?" She asked, looking at the servant a little accusingly.

"Leodegrance?" Arthur asked, glancing at the boy, "What's he got to do with it?"

Gwen swallowed, she didn't want Morgana to give the wrong impression to Arthur and think she returned Morgana's love.

"My Lady…" She started but could find no words with witch to finish.

Morgana frowned. _Why doesn't Leodegrance speak out? Oh! He wishes to please his master. I suppose he's still Arthur's servant, even if he doesn't need to be. _"Leave, My Lord." She said in a grand tone, "You are no longer welcome in my house."

Arthur's temper raged and he turned, "We will leave."

Gwen turned obligingly and started to walk out but stopped when Morgana called, "Where are you going?"

She knew the question was directed at her from the amount of desperation in the Lady's voice. She turned and said, "Following my master, where my only loyalty lies."

She turned away but could here Morgana calling after her, "Come back! Leodegrance! Stay! Husband!"

Arthur stopped and stared at his servant. Hatred started to run through his veins. Leodegrance was married, no, Morgana was married, it didn't matter.

"Her husband?"

Gwen had a look of pure shock on her face, "No! I would never do that to you! Please believe me-"

"Do not fear my beloved!" The Lady interrupted, "He cannot hurt you here."

Gwen wasn't listening. All her attention was on Arthur, to see what he would say. The king walked forward, "Fine… leave with her. But you are no friend of mine." He growled.

He turned to go but Gwen caught his hand, "Please… don't leave me." She whispered.

Arthur looked at her. It was have been a trick of the light but she was sure that a shimmering tear was sliding down his cheek.

**A/N: Sorry, it's been a while, I've had a lot of Christmas shows to do and birthday and Christmas shopping.**

**I've just realised that this is nearly the end, I forgot that act five is all in one scene. **


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I only just realised that act 5 is all in one scene… well, here's the final chapter.**

"For the love of god, your help!" Sir Leon half screamed across the court yard, attracting the attention of the group as he ran breathlessly towards them.

Gwen reluctantly drew her eyes away from Arthur to the knight and saw that he had a bloody scratch across his forehead.

"What's happened?" Morgana asked, genuine concern in her voice.

"He attacked me and Gwaine." The Leon wined, "I knew I should have gone home, I just knew-"

"Who has?" The lady interrupted, getting a little impatient.

"The King's gentleman, one…" The knight sought for the name, "Leodegrance."

"My gentleman, Leodegrance?" Arthur scoffed, unable to believe that one with such a gentle soul could do that.

"There he is!" Leon blurted, pointing at Gwen.

"I didn't do anything." She protested, covering her face with her hands, unable to understand what was going on.

It was then that the Gwaine entered, he too had a cut on his forehead and was closely followed by the fool.

"Where's the physician?" Gwaine groaned, one hand on his wound.

"He's drunk, Gwaine. I told you before." Merlin sighed.

"Drunken rouge." The knight hissed.

"Well, you know what they say 'takes one to know one'"

Leon walked forward to his friend, "I'll help you find another physician."

"You?" Gwaine bellowed, "You? An… ass-head… a gull and a knave… a thin faced knave…" He hissed before walking away again.

Leon didn't try and follow him, instead he just walked slowly away in the other direction to collect his things and leave.

There was silence.

Then out of the silence came the sound of running. One by one, pairs of eyes caught sight of the runner and one by one their jaws dropped. Gwen slowly brought her face out of her hands and her eyes widened when she saw the newcomer.

"This isn't possible." Morgana whispered, "This simply isn't possible."

Elyan jogged towards his wife, not noticing the expression of disbelief as her eyes stared at him unable to believe what she could see.

"I'm sorry, I have hurt your cousin. Him and his friend wanted to restart the fight you interrupted earlier. If they were brothers of mine I would have done no less."

He looked around and noticed that there were several people in the garden. And that they were all staring at him. He soon forgot this when his eyes landed on Lancelot who seemed at nervous as the rest.

"Lancelot!" He laughed running to the sailor, "I went to the rising sun but you weren't there."

It took him a moment to reply, his eyes darting from Gwen to Elyan, "Elyan?" He asked cautiously, "How have you made division of yourself?"

Elyan frowned, turned to see what Lancelot was staring at, then stopped.

It was like looking in a mirror.

He walked a little closer to the vision that was as confused as he was. He blinked. "I never had a brother." He murmured, "If I did he would look as you do. I had a sister. But she drowned in a storm that nearly took me. What kin are you to me?" He asked, "What family name? What Parentage?"

Gwen could barely speak. This wasn't Elyan. It couldn't be. He was dead. "Thomas was my father. He worked as a blacksmith in Caerleon…"

"The same as mine…" Elyan whispered, tears appearing in his eyes.

"And he died that day that made me and my brother eighteen years." Gwen nearly sobbed. "Elyan…"

He swallowed and embraced his sister. Gwen closed her eyes and allowed months of lies and deception and silent grief to form a lump in her throat and stream down her cheeks.

Elyan shushed Gwen's tears and turned to Morgana whose eyes had grown wider.

"It appears that you have been mistaken."

The lady blinked then smiled. Running forward to Elyan and embraced him.

"I love you."

She let him go, turning to Gwen with a cheery smiled and holding her hand forward for her to shake, "Sister."

Gwen smiled with relief and shook Morgana's hand in return.

Merlin knew it was time, he walked to the lady and handed him a letter that had been written by a madman in the dark.

The woman frowned and took the letter, "From Uther?" The fool nodded. Morgana frowned again before breaking the seal and reading the letter, putting a hand over her mouth as she did so. "Oh my god… Gaius!" She called to the servant. "Bring Uther here."

He left and returned seconds later with the steward. Covered in grime, messy hair and still wearing the yellow stockings. Any dignity he once had was gone in an instant. He looked at Morgana with hatred.

"You have done me wrong…"

"Me?" the lady frowned. "No."

"You have." He growled throwing the letter that had started everything at her "You cannot deny it is your handwriting. That asked me to smile and where yellow stockings. I have one question." He looked to be close to tears, "Why?"

Morgana looked at the letter then back at the steward. "Uther… this is not my writing." He looked as though he had just been kicked in the stomach. She looked at the letter again, "It is very similar to mine… but out of question, it's Morgause's hand." despair entered the steward's expression as he realised he had been tricked. The lady continued, "And now I come to think of it she was the first on to tell me you were mad." She looked at him sympathetically. "We'll find out why they did this."

"Madam." Gaius spoke, stepping forward again. "Hear me speak. Morgause wrote the letter, so Gwaine could have his revenge. And because she helped him so much… he has married her." The servant almost smiled. "But in truth it was done more for entertainment than revenge."

Uther didn't say anything, just stared ahead.

"I can't believe they did this." Morgana whispered.

"Why, 'some are born great,'" A voice that had not spoken for some time said from the small crown, "'some achieve greatness,'" Merlin stepped forward, "'and some have greatness thrown upon them.'" He took a few more slow steps forward, not taking his eyes off Uther. "I was one, sir, in this interlude. One _Sir Emrys, _sir. But that's all one." He sneered and mocked the stewards desperate pleas, "'by the lord, fool, I am not mad.'" He smirked and tried to jog the steward's memory back to the day he insulted the fool, "But do you remember? 'Madam, why laugh you lady at such a barren rascal?'"

Uther looked the fool in the eye and realised that everything that had happened had been brought on by himself.

Merlin smiled as he saw that he remembered, "And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges." He disappeared into the small crowd once again.

The steward stood still for a moment before growling, "I'll be revenged..." He stormed away. "On the whole pack of you!"

While all this was going on Arthur was standing to the side with a broad smile growing on his face as he realised who Leodegrance really was. He walked forward and said softly to Morgana so that Gwen couldn't hear.

"Treat him to a piece. But for now… I will have a share in the celebration." He looked at Gwen and put on the sternest voice he could, "Boy."

Gwen looked quickly at the ground, she had lied so much, she couldn't meet his eyes. But his hand gently lifted her face upwards so that she was left staring into his eyes.

"You have sworn a thousand times you could never love a woman as you do me." He murmured.

"And I would swear it another thousand. She replied helplessly.

Arthur smiled a little and his eyes wondered down, "Give me your hands." He entwined her fingers in his then looked her in the eyes once more. "You have done so much for your master, and called him so for so long that… it is time you became your master's mistress."

"My lord!" She cried, flinging her arms around his neck. He pressed his lips against hers and she shut her eyes in pure bliss of what she thought was unachievable.

Arthur took her hands and she took one of Elyan's as Morgana took the other.

"Now a golden time will commence. And from now on you shall be known as Arthur's mistress and his queen."

Merlin smiled at himself as he watched the couples and turned to walk away. It had all turned out better than expected. He caught sight of Gwaine and Morgause laughing together and his smile grew wider. As he walked through the gate of the house he started to sing to himself, as he often did.

"When that I was and a little tiny boy,

With a hey, ho, the wind and the rain,

A foolish thing was but a toy,

For the rain it raineth every day.

But when I came to man's estate,

With a hey, ho, the wind and the rain,

'Gainst knaves and thieves men shut their gate,

For the rain it raineth every day.

But when I came, alas! to wive,

With a hey, ho, the wind and the rain,

By swaggering could I never thrive,

For the rain it raineth every day.

But when I came unto my beds,

With a hey, ho, the wind and the rain,

With toss-pots still had drunken heads,

For the rain it raineth every day.

A great while ago the world begun,

With a hey, ho, the wind and the rain."

He looked over his shoulder at the house. The sunset turned everything a deep shade of orange. Today seemed wonderfully conclusive. Nothing would be the same, not quite. But whatever came next would not be has big a trial as the last few months had been.

"But that's all one… our play is done,

And we'll strive to please you every day…"

He grinned and walked over the horizon.

**A/N: Love that song. Thanks for reviewing :)**

**I might do some other Shakespeare comedies in Merlin style. Maybe a few tragedies… except ones like Hamelt that end with 'then everyone died'. But Twelfth night will always by my favourite :)**


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